


A gift that I can't (will) give you

by nonotwithoutyou



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, IVF, Implied Mpreg, Infertility, M/M, Miscarriage, Omega Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonotwithoutyou/pseuds/nonotwithoutyou
Summary: Steve Rogers lives in an almost perfect life. But the only thing he wants the most, is the only one he can't get.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 11
Kudos: 187





	A gift that I can't (will) give you

This particular day, the weather was fantastic. The grass of Tony’s backyard was greener than ever, the kids were playing and screaming in the distance, the adults were gathered around the barbecue and some other in the kitchen, escaping the hot day and also waiting for the sun to go down to go for a dip in the pool. But well, what else could you expect when it was the 4th of July and Steve’s birthday?

All of his friends, that were more family than friends, had surprised him with a small party at Stark’s residence to cheer him up. Before, the party had been planned for a celebration, but because of recent developments, it had mutated into something to take their friend out of his room and breathe some fresh air.

Steve was turning 36 and he had an _almost_ perfect life.

He was an only child to a hard-working nurse that loved him more than anything, his dad had died before he was born, but his mom always made things work for both of them.

He had met his husband, Bucky, when they were just 5 and 4 years old and his family moved to the apartment downstairs from where Sarah and Steve lived. They were best friends for years, where Bucky went, Steve went, and where Steve was, Bucky was there, too. Bucky’s parents, Winnie and George, along with Sarah had expected them to get together during their teen years, and they did. They started dating at 15, and by Steve’s eighteenth birthday, Sarah had already been asked permission for a wedding proposal. She said yes, and a couple of weeks later, so did her son.

Steve and Bucky got married at 18 and 19 at the city hall and celebrated with dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant with their families. The following year Bucky was accepted into the NYU Tandon School of Engineering to pursue a career in Mechanical Engineering, and at the same time, Steve was already studying Art.

During those years as college students, they lived in Sarah’s apartment after remodeling Steve’s room to transform it into _their_ room, contributing to the rent and food thanks to their part-time jobs. They also met the friends that would later become their families: Natasha and Sam that studied at Bucky’s university, and Clint, that worked at the same pizza place as Steve.

They were separated from their families for a few years because Bucky was accepted into MIT after getting his degree and working for Stark Tech, but they returned as soon as Bucky had his new degree in hand. This time though, they didn’t return to Sarah’s apartment, Steve had gotten a new job at an Art Gallery and Bucky had been promised a well-paid spot at Stark Tech that he couldn’t and didn’t refuse, which allowed them to move into their own place.

While they lived in Massachusetts, Steve and Bucky had started to think about trying for a baby, for a family, it had been one of their shared dreams since Steve had first seen Bucky taking care of his younger sister, Becca, and Bucky had seen Steve babysit for a few neighbors. So a few birth control pills were forgotten, a lot of loving words and hopes were said, but nothing happened.

The same thing happened during their lasts months in Massachusetts, and their first year of being back in New York.

Steve had just turned 27 and was accompanied by his mother when a doctor told him that he had stage 3 endometriosis, which was causing him infertility. At the sight of teary eyes on the Omega, the nice lady had assured him that the stage didn’t mean he was never going to get pregnant, but that it might require surgery and extra help to achieve it.

Bucky had been away in Japan with Tony Stark himself at the time, and Steve didn’t want to ruin his husband’s first big trip with his boss, so he cheered him up via FaceTime and told him the bad news at his return. Bucky had reacted the way Sarah had predicted, by taking Steve in his arms, hugging him, telling him it wasn’t his fault, while he cried and felt like the worst Omega in the world. He also told him that he was up to support his decision of getting surgeries and the extra help that the doctor had told him about, but that if he didn’t want to go through that, he was going to support him as well.

Steve got his surgery done a few months later, it was supposed to help them conceive in the next six to twelve months, but all they got were negative after negative blood and pregnancy tests. That was the moment when the doctor recommended in-vitro fertilization, telling them that it was probably going to be effective for them because they were still under 30, young and healthy.

Natasha and Clint, that had gotten together a couple of years ago, announced they were expecting twins the day after Steve was told that the first IVF hadn’t worked. And the twins, Draco and Ivan, were born weeks later Steve was told once again, that his tests had given negative results.

Steve wanted to try another time before taking a break, Bucky was by his side at every chance he got and despite not being that religious, he silently prayed while the embryos were being transferred that third time, that one of them, just _one_ of them, _please God_ , would reach the destination and enter their lives.

It didn’t happen.

To make things a little bit harder, two days later Sam and his wife Maria announced that they were going to have a baby. Bucky and Steve were never bitter for their friend's fortunes, but they wished they weren’t so close to their misfortunes.

Later, Bucky decided to take Steve’s mind out of the subject for a while, so he booked them tickets to Europe and spent their 10th wedding anniversary between walks in beautiful cities, taking pictures, some shopping, and delicious meals. They even went to a super fancy restaurant in Paris because Tony, that was now part of Bucky’s friends' group, had booked them a table as a gift, giving them more than one moment of laughter at the taste of weird things like escargot and plates so tiny that the waiter had to explain to them what the food was. And after seeing his husband so down and sad, it was like Bucky’s heart learned how to beat again every time that Steve smiled and laughed, not only at the restaurant but during the entire time they were in Europe.

They also asked for wishes at every fountain that was supposed to grant them for the price of a coin, graved their names into padlocks and thew away the keys, but they also made a purchase that was supposed to give them hope. It happened while Steve was being treated like the king of some small country at the Louis Vuitton store in Milan, because being married to an engineer had its perks and that included designer things. While one of the sales associates was away looking for a pair of shoes that Bucky wanted to try on, they saw the stuffed dog on the shelf. Actually, Bucky noticed that Steve was looking at it and caressing it with one finger, so he moved to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“It’s cute,” Bucky said. “We should buy it, it may give us good luck…”

He chuckled softly, “Buck, as much as I would love to… it’s two thousand euros.”

Bucky laughed and kissed Steve’s temple, saying “Remember when we got married and I promised that I was going to give you the best? Well, that also included that our firstborn’s first toy was going to be a very overpriced designer stuffed dog.”

Steve was about to answer back after five seconds of looking into his loving husband’s eyes when the lady arrived with two boxes on her hands. “Oh! That doggy is adorable! Do you have pups at home to get them as a gift?”

“No,” Steve said smiling and added, “not yet… but we’ll take it.”

“Wonderful! Let me set it aside for you while your husband tries on the shoes!” she said happily to put the stuffed dog with the rest of the things they were getting.

At their arrival back home, Steve stored the orange box in the closet, hoping that they wouldn’t have to wait much more to open it.

A few months later Bucky got a promotion that made his monthly numbers increase exponentially, and that’s when they decided to buy a place. They looked and looked for months, they went to see places together, with Sarah, with Nat and the twins, with Sam, with Clint and the twins, with Winnie, with Becca, with Winnie, Becca and George, and even with Pepper, Tony’s wife that Steve had met in a party months ago and had been inseparable ever since.

Their official place ended up being a pretty amazing penthouse with more than enough room for them and for future additions to the family with 4 bedrooms, grand living spaces and floor to ceiling windows in some of the rooms. That place was one that they had gone to see without company and that after buying it, they refused to show to everybody until it was fully furnished. Sam and Becca's screaming was heard all over the building when everybody was finally invited to the inaugural dinner, Bucky’s parents and Sarah almost cried, and the rest of their friends gasped at every single detail.

Their favorite room was one that they didn’t show, they said that it was being used as a storage room, which wasn’t a lie, but after the boxes were removed they were going to use it as a nursery, a little orange box sat over one of the boxes as a sparkle of hope.

Then time started to slip by. They celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, their friend’s baby showers, Bucky’s new achievements on his job, even more degrees, the times he got invited to conferences, to teach in classes, the times that Steve’s artists had successful openings and were able to sell all their pieces, and especially when he opened the gallery with his own paintings and it made it to the newspaper and was the talk of the town for months.

As their professional lives were thriving, their personal lives were… kind of ok. They loved each other, of course, even more with the passing days, but the room in their home that had been cleaned and left with just a nightstand and a small box, hadn’t suffered any changes.

Steve tried to get pregnant via IVF six more times, on different months and occasions, taking relaxing vacations with Bucky before and after to let his body relax and not tense at the thought of what was happening inside of him, until he couldn’t take it anymore. He cried and lied a ball on the couch of his office for hours when the phone call with his doctor’s secretary informed him that again, his hCG levels were too low, indicating that any of the embryos had attached to his womb. Bucky had gotten an email with the results and when his messages and calls to Steve were unanswered, he left the Stark Tech tower and drove to the gallery in tears. He hadn’t opened the mail, he thought it was weird that the clinic did that, and well, whatever the result was, he wanted to hear it from Steve and Steve alone. However, the lack of response gave him an idea of the state of Steve’s emotions about the results.

Bucky found him in the Omega’s restroom washing his face, his eyes and nose red, his heart filled with sorrow. Steve found shelter in Bucky’s arms in a second, his Alpha’s arms wrapped around him and their warmth trying to comfort the other.

“I can’t… I can’t do it anymore…” Steve whispered into Bucky’s chest, tears falling to his cheeks and some wetting his shirt. “I’m so tired, Buck, I’m so tired of the needles, of the pain, of the IVF’s… I’m tired of hoping, I can’t do it again… I’m sorry, I can’t…”

“It’s ok, Stevie, it’s ok…” Bucky whispered to his hair, one of his hands caressing Steve’s back and the other keeping him close. “It’s ok, we’ll be ok, sweetheart, we’ll be ok…”

That’s how Steve and Bucky were 34 and 35 years old when they resigned from the idea of ever becoming parents. Instead, they were there for every single thing that their nephews did, celebrating the pups that they already had in their lives even if they weren’t theirs.

A couple of months before his 36th birthday, Steve, with the help of his therapist, decided he was ready to try again. Bucky took the news with surprise, Steve had never mentioned anything about IVF since the last time, and also with the help of his own therapist, he had come at peace with the idea that being a dad wasn’t in his destiny. But he loved his Stevie so much that he said yes, he stood by his side, he helped him with the injections, he gave him a kiss and a hug before the transfer, and another kiss and hug afterward.

About a month later, early in the morning, Steve went to the fertility clinic to get his blood tested, and spent the entire day waiting for the results. It was when Bucky just arrived home that his phone, that stupidly had been on silent, let him know that he had a new voicemail.

“I’m with you till the end of the line, remember?” Bucky asked him kissing his husband’s trembling hand.

“I love you, too,” Steve said with a small smile, they shared a kiss and finally the message started to play.

“Good afternoon, Steve!” said the doctor’s secretary happy voice. “I’m sorry to call in a time that you couldn’t answer, but at least I’m leaving you this message with good news!” Bucky’s hand squeezed Steve’s. “Your hCG levels are at 800 and any number above 20 means positive, so congratulations, you’re pregnant! I’ll send you an email with all the information and things you’ll need to do in the next…”

The rest of the message kept playing but Steve and Bucky weren’t listening anymore, they were already hugging each other, crying together like they hadn’t in years.

“Apparently 10 is our lucky number, huh?” Bucky joked while caressing Steve’s cheeks with his thumbs, that just cried and laughed at the same time.

“Yes…” was all Steve could say with the brightest smile that Bucky had seen on his face in the past months and he couldn’t resist to kiss him, to hug him, to show him all of his love, to show him that finally, his sacrifices of needles and pain had been worth it.

The levels of hCG kept rising, indicating that Steve’s body was taking the embryo, week 7 was going to be the last test, to then get a viability scan done and start spreading the news to the family. However, it was during week 7 that everything scrambled down. The hormone levels went down gradually, and then drastically, and when Steve saw red spotting on his underwear, he knew it was over. It had been a beautiful illusion while it lasted, and he was truly done with trying.

The family members had known that Steve had had a transfer done and as the time passed, they were all behind the couple’s back thinking that this time the IVF had worked and that they were going to have good news coming soon. Unfortunately, Bucky had been the one to tell in tears to his parents and friends that Steve had been pregnant but that he had miscarried.

Bucky was given a two week leave to accompany his mate in such difficult time, and their friends didn’t want to intrude, so they left them messages and casseroles while they slept through the day, and Winnie and Sarah were in charge of keeping their sons fed and the apartment clean.

That is the whole story of why Steve’s birthday wasn’t a full celebration event, but at least Steve seemed to be having a nice time with his family, especially with one of Tony’s adopted daughter, Wanda, that was 15 years old and hoping to study Arts, just like him. Wanda’s twin, Pietro, was playing with Draco, Ivan and Sam’s son, Jaden, and the oldest Stark with 18, Peter, was talking to Bucky in the kitchen about their next project for the company.

Everyone got into the pool once the food in their bellies had settled down, and between games, the kids playing jokes and Bucky’s kisses, Steve was glad that his mom had dragged him out of bed.

That night, as every night of Steve’s birthday, red and blue fireworks illuminated the sky and everyone watched them like it was the first time. Bucky was standing behind Steve, both his arms around him and chin on his shoulder. He watched the love of his life’s side profile illuminated by the fireworks and even if there was still sadness in those blue eyes he had adored since day one, Bucky thought of how lucky he was to have him in his life. The hard times had tested them, and they had gone through everything, to sharing a small apartment at the beginning of their marriage, to working and studying at the same time, to Steve following Bucky to Massachusetts, to their firsts tries and disappointments with fertility, to every time that any of them had spent away from home because of work. The lasts years were as happy as depressing, but he loved Steve, he didn’t imagine his life with anybody else by his side.

“What?” Steve asked with a little smile when he caught him staring.

Bucky had the dopest smile and look on his face when he said, “I love you so much, you know that?”

“I love you, too, Buck…” he answered turning his head to a better angle and kissing him shortly.

“Happy birthday, Stevie.”

“Happy birthday to me...” he repeated before giving Bucky one last kiss and throwing his head to his shoulder to keep watching the fireworks, but he didn’t miss the way that Bucky’s hands were over his belly, and he wished that he could feel happier in his birthday

Summer months were busy at the gallery thanks to people having more free time and after Steve’s birthday Bucky was super focused on the electric car that Stark Tech was launching, so they didn’t have time to relax. That was the reason why Steve decided to book flights and a nice hotel in Fiji for October, they truly deserved it.

Bucky couldn’t be happier with the initiative and after the presentation of the car going excellent in September, he was completely ready to spend 12 days in paradise with his favorite person.

Fiji welcomed them with rain during the first two days, but the other ten were absolute bliss. Sleeping in, the beach, the clear water, the food, the sex, the pools, the jacuzzi, more sex, the nights of talking or watching Netflix after a tiring day at the sun. It was exactly what they needed, a relaxing time with each other.

Going back to work was hard and the weather didn’t help, because New York, just like Fiji, welcomed them with rain. The big difference was that later they didn’t have sun and beach and sand, they had more cold and more rain. Steve and Bucky rejoined their work projects wishing for another relaxing vacation that may be in the Maldives, another place where they could get more clear water and more sun.

Late November came around and Steve was thankful that the gallery had some quiet moment going on because he was exhausted. His first thought in the morning was wishing that it was night again to snuggle with Bucky and sleep for an entire week. It also didn’t help that any food that he ate gave him heartburn and he was definitely moody, making him apologize every 5 minutes to his team, family members or Bucky for snapping at them for nothing. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Steve felt like he was bloated, and it was weird considering that his stomach was naturally flat or even a little concave if he was lying down. He also noticed that his face was… rounder? Yeah, rounder. His sharp features were softening, he was definitely gaining weight.

He complained about that one night with Bucky, and he had laughed and pulled him closer, saying, “Don’t worry about that, honey, I’ll love you in any shape or form.”

“I won’t, Barnes,” he said jokingly. “So you better keep going to the gym, huh?”

“Hey! That’s mean!” Bucky complained laughing and putting him on his back so he could climb over him to then kiss his neck.

Steve closed his eyes ready for the attention, but Bucky stopped kissing and nipping on his skin, and started to sniff. “Buck? What the hell?” It wasn’t weird that mates sniffed at each other's scent glands… but Bucky was doing some intensive job with his nose that made his stubble feel uncomfortable against his sensitive skin.

“Hold on a sec,” he said inhaling deeply on one side of Steve’s neck, to then go to the other. “You changed your body wash?”

“Hmmm, no?”

“Hmmm… you smell good,” Bucky whispered and attacked his neck hungrily, “so good, you smell so good, Stevie.”

And Steve was a goner.

Christmas was just ten days away when Steve woke up to being unable to leave the bed. It was like his body said, “ha, nope, today we are out of business my friend!”

“How about I bring you a tray with breakfast?” Bucky asked caressing Steve’s hair and taking it out of his eyes. He was already dressed for work but refused to go, he wanted to see some signal that Steve was going to be ok.

Steve’s insides made him make a noise of refusal, the thought of food wasn’t something that sounded good for him at the moment. “Babe, I’ll call you if I feel worse, don’t worry,” he whispered with his eyes closed, his body giving up to Bucky’s hands on his hair.

It took 10 more minutes to convince Bucky to leave, and when he did, Steve felt asleep again. He woke up to go to the bathroom at 10 am, and again at 1 pm because Bucky was calling him to ask him how he was feeling and to remind him to eat something.

Steve literally wrapped himself in a blanket and walked to the kitchen to find the breakfast that Bucky had made him earlier, and decided to re-heat it. He ate it slowly while watching Netflix and answering some text messages, to then go back to the bedroom and sleep some more.

The sleeping was spoiled by Steve waking up a couple of hours later, the taste of the acid fluids of his stomach going up on his esophagus, making him run to the bathroom and spending a few minutes on his knees. Breakfast for lunch had definitely been a bad idea.

The rest of the day was miserable, Steve felt like the strength had been drained from his body, leaving him weak and hungry and dizzy and nauseous all at the same time. He tried to get some work done from his computer but it was like another movie of the Mission Impossible series, so he went back to bed, texting Bucky that he felt like shit.

Sarah arrived at the home for dinner with the ingredients of Steve’s favorite chicken soup for him and steak for her son-in-law. Noticing that his son was still asleep, she made herself comfortable in the kitchen while listening to the news and was surprised when the front door opened and showed Bucky arriving early.

“Hi son!” she said sweetly with a hug when he threw his messenger bag and went to her.

“Hi Ma, how are you? Is Stevie feeling better?”

“I haven’t talked to him yet, he was asleep when I arrived.”

“I’ll go check on him,” he said immediately, taking his coat off on the way. “Oh! By the way, the food smells delicious!”

Sarah waved him off with a smile and returned her attention to the task at hand. Bucky walked to the bedroom as quietly as possible, the door wasn’t closed so he entered and saw Steve sleeping with his favorite blanket around him. He smiled and walked to it, just in time to see him waking up.

“Buck?”

“Hi sweetheart,” he whispered leaning down to place a kiss on Steve’s forehead. “Feeling a little bit better?”

“Hmmm…” was Steve’s first response, but then he opened his eyes and sniffed. “Is that… chicken soup?”

Bucky snorted and nodded. “Yeah, your Ma is on the kitchen cooking for you, wanna go to eat with her or want me to bring it to bed?”

“I’m tired of this fucking bed, I’ve been here all day,” he complained detangling from the sheets and blanket. “Can you pass me the bathrobe? Is warmer than the other one…”

Steve made a trip to the bathroom to wash his face before going to see his mom and accept her hug and kiss. The three of them ate dinner on the kitchen isle, chatted about the Christmas dinner that Steve and Bucky were going to host, the dishes they were planning on making and the gifts they were yet to buy. Sarah was invited to sleep in the guest's room because it was late when they all decided to go to bed, and she accepted because she was worried about Steve and wanted to be there in case he needed her.

The next day was no better. Steve woke up in the middle of the night to run to the bathroom, and he didn’t leave the bed for breakfast, lunch or dinner, he ate what Bucky and his mom took him, even though almost everything ended up in the toilet. They were all convinced it was a stomach bug, but Steve was tired of it by the fourth day, so he showered as his mom was out getting groceries, got dressed and drove to his doctor’s clinic. He ended up getting blood drawn to make a test on something he could possibly have before the doctor could prescript something for the wrong pathology. The nice lady that had drawn the blood told him that the results were going to be in approximately 4 hours but that they were going to call him anyway.

Thanks to going out, Steve felt a tiny bit better which led him to go to the mall and make the last purchases for Christmas gifts. He got Becca’s gift, a couple of more for his Ma, toys and electronic devices for his nephews, and picked up a new watch for Bucky that had been waiting to pick up at the store since the day he had gotten sick. He forced himself to buy something from Starbucks because he hadn’t eaten anything all day, and while chewing on his sandwich, he got the call that the results were ready.

The doctor was waiting for him with a big smile once he arrived back to the office, he sat down and chatted with the man until he finally decided to tell Steve about the results.

“Well, Steve, things could be better, definitely the vomiting has been keeping your body from getting nutrients,” he explained looking at the papers in his hands. “But, there is something that turned up to be really, really high and it got me surprised, honestly.”

Steve looked at him questioningly and said: “What is it?”

“Your hCG levels, they are off the charts,” he answered with a smile, he wasn’t his fertility doctor, but he knew of his journey and the happiness on him was evident. “The pregnancy test came positive, Steve, and the numbers are talking about a 10-week pregnancy, congratulations!”

Maybe it was the fact that he had gotten his first solid food in days a few minutes ago or the fact that he was getting wonderfully unexpected news, but Steve felt light-headed, so light-headed that in one moment the doctor was in front of him and in the other he was by his side, telling him to breath in and out.

“How… how is it possible?” he asked in a whisper. “I got the last IVF earlier this year… I miscarried… we haven’t tried…”

“It happens to a lot of people, Steve, they try and try and it doesn’t work, and then they get pregnant naturally, the same thing after a couple adopts.”

“Oh…”

When he was feeling better the doctor could continue with the visit, and gave him the prescriptions of the supplements he was going to take, and asked him to go back in two days to confirm that the hCG levels kept going up.

The realization of what was happening occurred in the car after buying the medicines and 3 pregnancy tests. Steve thought of all the IVF procedures, especially the last one as he cried in the driver's seat, he didn’t want to get his hopes up again, he didn’t want to put Bucky’s hopes up again to later see it fall apart. He had gone through a lot of negative results and felt terribly sad, but now he was terrifyingly scared, so scared of miscarrying again, he didn’t want the story to repeat again.

At home his mom hadn’t arrived yet, so he went to the bathroom, read the doctor’s instructions and took the pills he needed before hiding them in the closet along with the blood results and the pregnancy tests.

He played it cool with his Ma and Bucky, and the next day he told them he was feeling better, so his mom returned to her apartment, and Bucky dropped him off at the gallery with a happy smile, both of them content that he was healthy again.

The countdown to Christmas was at five days when Steve woke up at 6 am, took one of the pregnancy tests he had hidden and went to the toilet downstairs.

He had done a few store-bought pregnancy tests in his life, and all he had always seen were minus signs or just one line. This time, he was greeted by a plus sign that appeared quickly on the stick, indicating that he was still pregnant. The final confirmation came later in the day after another round of blood drawing when the doctor called him to tell him that the numbers were even higher and that he should go to his OB to get a scan done.

3 days before Christmas, Steve did another pregnancy test early in the morning at home. Two pink lines appeared quickly, leaving him with teary eyes and no words.

1 day to go until Christmas, and Steve did another pregnancy test. Another plus sign formed rapidly on the window of the stick. He took out the other two he had taken and the doctor’s papers and set them down at the counter. Steve, that had stared at negative pregnancy results his entire life, was now staring at four positive ones. And for the first time, he saw his profile in the mirror and admired the ‘bloating’ that had bothered him before, and caressed it with his hand, a small smile on his lips.

“I can’t believe you’re here…” he murmured. “Please hold on to me, don’t leave me, don’t leave us,” he said quietly, his eyes now tearing up, “don’t leave us.”

Christmas Eve was eventful, to say the least. The big dinner that Steve and Bucky shared with their families was amazing, full of chatter, of embarrassing and happy memories that had everyone in laughter and tears, and of course of delicious food that Sarah, Bucky, and George had been cooking since early that day.

Steve avoided the alcohol saying that he was still taking the pills that the doctor had given him for the stomach bug, and thankfully nobody questioned it. Well… maybe his Ma, that looked at him with her eyebrows raised but said nothing.

A lot of pictures were taken and they exchanged them with their friends that were celebrating with their families, and Steve smiled to himself thinking that probably there was going to be someone more to celebrate with them next year.

The following day he and Bucky woke up late, and while some food from the night prior was being reheated, they gathered their gifts to exchange them in their living room. Steve had taken one last test last night, it was one of those fancy tests that were digital and had marked the word pregnant really quick. He had bought a small box to put all the tests and a card for Bucky to read, along with a small teddy bear keychain.

“Uuuhhh, fancy,” Bucky exclaimed when Steve handed him a Prada shopping bag.

Steve felt that his heart wasn’t beating anymore. He saw Bucky take the box out of the bag, and open it to find the small bear and the card.

“Only the best husbands,” Bucky said opening the card, “get promoted to…” Bucky’s smile weakened as he read the paper, and after a look at the plastic sticks, he finally looked up at his husband, that had his eyes flooded and a hand over his mouth. “Steve?” Bucky whispered, his eyes going from the things in his hands to him, “Stevie, sweetheart…” he said putting everything back in the box and throwing himself at him, tears already on his cheeks. “Oh my God, Stevie, baby, oh my God,” was all he could say while holding Steve that had also started crying and returned the big hug he was given. “I love you, I love you, baby, I love you so much.”

They cried in each other’s arms for a long while, and luckily this time it was of happiness, of relief. After waiting and hoping for so long they were finally crying at a positive result, they were finally going to get the greatest gift of their lives. Finally, finally.

“How is it possible, when did you know?” asked Bucky, his eyes were a little red and the smile on his face seemed to be permanently painted on it.

“The doctor said that it was possible, it was pure luck, I guess.”

“Oh my God!” Bucky screamed throwing himself carefully to Steve again, who giggled happily feeling one of his Alpha’s hands on his belly. “I can’t believe this is happening, Steve, we’re having a pup!”

“Me neither,” he said back, putting his hand over Bucky’s and moving it so it would caress the small bump underneath. “Buck, I’m so happy… but also I’m really scared… what if…?” he didn't carry on, like if saying it would make it happen. 

“I know, baby… I mean, it is ok to be scared, you have all the right to be, but you shouldn’t let it overcome you,” he kissed him shortly and took his face on his hands. “We are together in this life, we have always been and we are always going to be.” Steve nodded, it was Bucky’s way of telling him that if their fear came true again, he wasn’t going to be left to deal with it alone, never.

“I love you, Buck… actually, we love you,” he corrected himself at the last second making his husband smile.

“I love you both, too, so, so, so, much.”

It was a miracle to get a baby, but it was also a miracle to get an appointment with his OB/GYN before New Year’s Eve. Bucky asked for the morning off for the first scan and was almost bouncing on the walls if it wasn’t for Steve that grounded him and took his hand the entire time they waited for the doctor to call them.

When she did, she hugged them and cried a little, she had been there every time that they were told the results weren’t the ones expected, and now she could finally give them good news. The scan was done with the lights off, Steve lying on his back and Bucky taking his hand. A lot of tears were cried since the first time they all got to see the pup inside Steve, they were 11 weeks already, with a strong heartbeat and an adorable side profile that Bucky was sure it was going to be his wallpaper until the next scan. Everything seemed to be perfect, and for the first time, they left the office with big smiles on their faces.

The news was told during the New Year's Eve dinner and party that they decided to host for that purpose, and it was not surprising that there were no dry eyes on the house. Even Tony had had glossy eyes when he hugged and congratulated them at the same time, promising that he was going to be the best uncle ever.

Steve’s 37th birthday was not spent on Tony’s backyard with their friends and family trying to make him feel better. He spent it at the clinic with the first signs of labor, with a very concerned Bucky and a calmed Sarah, that was smiling ear to ear at the imminent birth of her grandchild.

It took a long and exhausting day with little sleep and a lot of tears before Steve could push, but when he did, he had his amazing husband on one side, cheering him up, kissing his head and offering his hand for him to ruin, and his wonderful Ma on the other, taking the hair out of his eyes and giving him encouraging words.

Was it the hardest thing he had ever done? Yes. Was it the most physically painful thing he had gone through? Also yes. Was it all worth it to see his newborn baby boy, moving and crying on his chest? Absolutely.

Valentino Gauthier Barnes-Rogers was born into an adoring family that had waited more than a decade for him on July 6th at 20:21 pm. According to his grandma, he was small like his mama had been, but despite that, he was completely healthy, had fine blonde hair and a particular liking to being skin to skin with his mother.

Steve was over the moon, he didn’t even feel the placenta coming out or actually didn’t even care about what was happening between his legs, he only had eyes for the precious creature on his arms. The pup was no longer crying, he was calm, the nurses had cleaned him enough for Steve to have it inside the hospital gown, caressing his small back and watching him eat from his breast with a dopey smile.

Sarah had been taking pictures and videos nonstop to send to the rest of the family until they could visit the next morning, she never left Steve’s side and even helped him when the moment to feed her grandson came, and couldn’t wait to get the chance to hold him. Bucky, on the other hand, was so in love with the sight that his Omega holding and feeding their son made, that he actually forgot that he was going to also hold the pup. They had another 20 minutes before the nurses came back to give Valentino his first bath and run some tests, so Steve made Bucky sit on the bed next to him, take his shirt off and carefully place their son on his naked chest. Sarah put the baby’s blanket over him to keep him warm, and the following second she was taking a picture of Bucky sniffling and crying silently, with Steve resting his head on his Alpha’s shoulder and a hand on Valentino’s back. The sound of a muffled ringtone distracted them, and Sarah apologized leaving the room quickly with the phone on her ear.

“He’s truly here…” Bucky whispered kissing his son’s head softly, his voice broken because of the crying.

Steve smiled tiredly and his hand moved to Bucky’s cheek. “He is… our precious little baby, aren’t you? Yes you are,” he said looking at Valentino, that was looking around and probably asking himself why wasn’t he on his mother’s chest anymore, but hey, this new chest was kinda comfy, too. “No offense honey, but this is now the best day of my life.”

Bucky smiled, “what was the first before?”

“Our wedding,” Steve answered without taking his eyes out of his baby, “and the day we met, and our first kiss, and when you asked me to be your boyfriend, and when you proposed.”

“Hey! Am I getting put aside already?”

“Oh, absolutely,” he joked now looking at Bucky and making him lower his head to kiss him. “I love you, Buck, thanks for being by my side all this time, you alone were already everything I could’ve asked for in a mate, and now you’ve given me Valentino… I couldn’t be happier if I tried.”

“Baby, you gave us our little pup, I only… planted the seed? Pun intended!”

“Pun intended,” Steve laughed stifling the sound by rubbing his face on Bucky’s shoulder. “God, I truly love you, love you,” he repeated, a kiss was left on the top of his head and he settled to be in that position, completely plastered to his husband while admiring their creation.

“I love you, always… and I love this little guy, too,” he dropped another kiss on Valentino’s head and they stood there, assuming the fact that they weren’t just ‘a couple’ anymore, they were a family.

The nurses returned at the estimated time and took a crying pup off his father’s chest to take him somewhere else for some more routine tests. Sarah came back later, she said the call had been from Nat asking how things had gone because they had stopped answering their messages hours ago and the gang was worried. Because of that, once Valentino was back and Steve was ready to sleep for two weeks, they made a videoconference for everyone to meet the new family member and Sarah finally could hold her grandson. She cried again, of course, it was like a flashback to 37 years ago when she had held Steve for the first time, small and adorable and blonde with big blue eyes, just that her grandson's eyes weren’t the same blue that her son’s, he had his father’s eyes.

The night was eventful for the new parents, Sarah had gone home to sleep but they had help from the nurses that were more than happy to assist them. When they returned back home two days later, Steve and Bucky cried again as they put their sleeping baby in the crib, in the room that they had reserved for him such a long time ago and that they had painted and decorated months ago.

Being a pup was easy for Valentino. He ate, he was burped, he smiled at his family silly faces and noises, he laughed when his mama blew raspberries on his belly and when his dada kissed his cheeks repeatedly, he slept as much as he wanted, and was always taken care of every time he cried. Everyone was completely in love with him, and not surprisingly his parents got used to their new routine and life easily. Bucky adored to get back home to laughs, screaming and a crawling pup on the floor that screamed even higher when he entered the room. He also didn’t remember the last time he had seen Steve being so happy despite the energy that he burned attending their son.

With time Valentino stopped looking like a cute potato and Winnie and George were enchanted to discover that their grandson looked exactly like Bucky. Well, the hair was all Steve with beautiful wavy blonde curls, but the rest was all Bucky, the smile, the chin, the nose, the eyes, and the mischievous personality.

For Valentino’s first birthday Steve and Bucky threw a party for the family and friends at their home and surrounded their son with more love and gifts than usual. The celebration went on for the entire day, so at the end of it, they were exhausted and went to bed right away. However, at around 2am, Bucky woke up to use the toilet and realized that he was alone in bed, so he went to the place where he knew he could find his husband, Valentino’s room.

Steve was where he had expected and was sitting on the rocking chair he used to breastfeed their pup, holding him and trying to comb his hair with his hand. Steve had started to weaned since Valentino was 10 months old, and as for him wasn’t that complicated to stop feeding him because he knew his breasts weren’t producing as much as before, Valentino insisted on being fed of what was left from time to time. This night seemed to be one of those, but Bucky had arrived late because the pup was completely asleep again.

“Hey, sweetheart…” he said walking to them and hugging Steve’s shoulders from behind. “Was he hungry?”

“Yes and not, only nursed for a few minutes before he passed out again,” Steve explained in a whisper. “He’s gotten so big, I can’t believe he’s one year old already.”

Bucky sighed kissing Steve’s temple. “I know, he grew up really fast, too fast actually.”

Steve turned his head to face Bucky and said a combination of words that had Bucky's heart beating faster, “I want to have another…”

“You do?” he asked, his eyes opening at the sudden confession.

“I mean… I want to try, I want Valen to have a friend he can always count on, like you and Becs,” he admitted looking back at his son. “But if you don’t want to…”

“No, no,” Bucky interrupted immediately, “if you’re on board, I want and I will be by your side, sweetheart, there’s nothing I want more than seeing you pregnant with my pups again,” he said with a certain tone that made Steve shiver.

“Oh my God, let me put him to bed before you defile his ears at such a young age,” he laughed, alarmed that Valentino might not be asleep and listening.

Bucky watched with a smile how Steve lowered the toddler to the crib and whispered his usual ‘I love you’ to him. He also got closer and kissed Valen’s head while covering him with his favorite Paw Patrol blanket. Bucky was taken by surprise by Steve’s hungry lips a second later, but he didn’t hold back and in a swift movement he had Steve’s legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He walked out of the room carefully not to bump into anything and set Steve down in their bed softly, taking a moment to admire his husband’s beautiful face.

“I love you, Stevie, so much, you know that?” he said to him taking his head on his hands and caressing the cheekbones with a thumb.

“You know I love you too… but now please stop being so sweet and help me make a baby,” he joked making Bucky laugh and kiss him again.

They didn’t even know if they could conceive naturally as it had happened with Valentino, but being positive was the right attitude to have to then start the process of officially trying again.

While that happened, two doors down the hallway, Valentino turned in his sleep and his arms found his favorite toy, a stuffed dog that his parents had given him to guard him against bad dreams. He hugged the dog and easily went back to sleep, oblivious to the fact that in a couple of months, he was going to have to share it with a new best friend. 


End file.
